lumenate
INTEGRATIVE
THERAPY
COUPLES THERAPY
Relationships are at the core of our mental and emotional health and when our intimate relationships are stressed, it can greatly effect our sense of wellbeing.
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Couples therapy can help get struggling relationships back on track. If you’re having difficulty communicating in a healthy way, struggling after a betrayal of trust, or experiencing conflict, therapy can guide your relationship towards increased understanding and healing. Couples therapy can help you build and maintain a more solid and healthy connection with your partner, especially during periods of transition.
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Most couples who come to see us for therapy do so because of problems related to communication. They feel like they are not able to communicate effectively and don't feel heard or understood by their partner. If your unable to understand one another it is next to impossible to resolve issues. This is why the first skills we build together is fostering empathy toward each other's experiences and perspectives, and learning how to more effectively communicate your thoughts, feelings, and needs with one another.
Relationship problems can be opportunities for growth and closer connection.
Our Approach
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At Lumenate, our approach to working with couples is supportive, empathetic, and strength-based, while also direct and honest. Couples learn to manage their stress responses and develop more effective ways to communicate. They build skills necessary for repairing past issues, resolving differences, and strengthening their relationship.
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We work to get to know you both as a couple, while also getting to know your individual concerns and hopes for the relationship. We help to identify your communication patterns and how your differing attachment styles and emotional responses effect one another. We also look at the bigger context of your lives, and the ways your different upbringings, experiences, and cultures may be impacting your relationship. We guide you in identifying your relationship strengths and challenges and collaborate in developing a treatment approach which is unique to your needs and goals as a couple.
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We welcome people of all identities and relationship dynamics, as we respect and value the intersectional nature of what it means to be human. We focus on helping people build loving relationships and our services are always inclusive and affirming.
Emotionally Focused Therapy
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Our therapeutic approach is based in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) which is an effective, research-based model for working with couples. EFT helps to identify and transform negative patterns of interaction, increase emotional awareness, and build healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
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Phases of treatment:
​Phase 1 - Assessment and De-escalation
Identify presenting concerns, strengths, negative interaction patterns, and underlying emotions driving the pattern. Learn and practice communication skills in order to facilitate productive conversations about concerns.
Phase 2 - Understanding and Connection
Identify underlying unexpressed needs and feelings. Promote acceptance and empathy. Facilitate healthy expression of feelings and needs, improve interaction patterns, increase emotional engagement.
Phase 3 - Consolidation of Change
​Facilitate the emergence of solutions to problematic issues. Consolidate new, healthier interaction patterns that promote emotional intimacy and connection.
Do we need couples therapy?
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Even the best of relationships can be challenging and require consistent work and attention. How do you know whether your relationship has just hit a rough patch or if it's some thing more serious, requiring professional help?
Here are signs that your relationship may need support:
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Frequent arguing and conflict
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Low Trust
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Feelings of loneliness and isolation
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Lack of physical or emotional intimacy
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Emotional withdrawal or stonewalling
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Criticism and resentment
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Unresolved issues from the past
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Infidelity
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Poor communication
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Differing parenting styles
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Negative cycles/patterns
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Persistent dissatisfaction and unhappiness
Is couples therapy effective?
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The methods of couples therapy have improved significantly over the past few decades, with research showing positive success rates. The bigger question is, will couples therapy be effective for your relationship or marriage? Success requires both partners to be committed to the process and willing to engage in self-reflection. When both of partners wish to strengthen their connection and are able to look honestly at their role in the health of their relationship, positive growth and change can occur.​​
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Couples therapy can also be effective in repairing more serious issues within a relationship, such as infidelity or other types of betrayals. Trust is an essential aspect of any relationship, and the wounds of betrayal can be very painful. However, infidelity and betrayal don’t have to end or ruin relationships. Couples therapy can be instrumental in helping to repair wounds, restore trust, and rebuild connection. The important factor is the commitment and active participation of both partners in this process
Benefits of Couples Therapy
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Improve communication
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Build trust
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Deepen intimacy
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Increase respect
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Foster empathy and understanding
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Practice forgiveness
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Strengthen commitment
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Repair wounds & betrayals
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Build a closer connection
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Develop problem-solving and conflict resolution skills
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Learn how to have difficult conversations
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Improve healthy boundaries
Length of Treatment
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Length of treatment varies depending on your specific issues and needs.
Most couples can expect between 3-6 months of weekly sessions to resolve their issues and restore the foundation of their relationship. For couples with more complex and long-standing concerns, it may take a longer commitment to therapy to see solid improvements.
Towards the end of treatment, sessions often taper off to every other week and then to once a month until the couple feels able to deal with day to day problems and issues on their own.